When Being One With Nature Kills Your Workout (And You)

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Working out in the great outdoors has its benefits, for sure. Cleaner air, varying temperatures, vitamin D from sunlight, hormone health, and etc all make it ideal to get out of the gym for your workout.

But Mother Nature isn’t exactly a safe mistress. Her temper tantrums are a force to be reckoned with, and you don’t want to be anywhere near her when she’s feeling low.

So if you are thinking about heading to the park or hitting the trails to get today’s calorie burn in, here are some things to keep an eye out for.

  1. Gale Force Winds

Often associated with tornadoes and hurricanes, don’t trust that your home is safe from winds that will knock you off of your feet. Hang a weather sock and be sure to check the weather channel before kite surfing or kite flying or roller blading.

2. Dust Storms

Oh you don’t live in a dessert, you say? Well, did you know that 80% of dust is human skin? So if you live in a highly populated area be on the watch for a whirling vortex of dead keratinocyte cells.

3. Locust Plagues

These little bugs may look all cute and innocent, but if you’ve been noticing that your neighborhood seems to have more than its fair share of grasshoppers, be sure to cross reference the books of Exodus and Revelations to see if there’s a plague predicted for your tri-state area.

4. Sink Holes

You never know when or where one may open. So move fast.

5. Volcanic Eruption

There’s an average of 1 volcanic eruption per day. You didn’t know that, did you? So if you aren’t Tommy Lee Jones I would suggest that you don’t plot your cycling path along a fault line or within 10 miles of an active volcano.

6. Earthquake

Even more likely than a volcano, hundreds of earthquakes happen each freaking day. This world is not properly stabilized, so make sure you’re near a sturdy desk or table at all times, even if it means carrying one with you. Or just invest in an earthquake detector.

 

 

P.S. This article is meant to induce laughter, which is known to boost healthy hormone production and motivate a better lifestyle. The author has no intention for the readers to take her seriously in these 379 words.

 

 

 

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